... but I stopped. Now I'm a dad, and may blog again...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

269: apt twats and Merzbow

On Facebook (it’s a social networking site on the World Wide Web; it’s quite popular) this morning people are declaring today to be a beautiful day.  It’s as warm as Cyprus; a day for barbeques and the park; the sun is shining and everyone feels carefree, gay and jolly good indeed.

Well, I can’t tell because the curtains are closed.  I can’t hear the birds over the hammering and drilling.  The neighbourhood echoes with mechanical screeching of buzzing drill bits against solid brick, and chundering electric generators.  The external walls above, below and behind my head continue to be attacked, beaten and battered by the builders from just before 7.30am daily.  The curtains stay closed because if I were to open them the tea-drinking, hard-hatted, high-vis’-jacket-wearers would be free to observe me strutting about in my socks and tiger-print undies... If that’s what I was doing... I’m not though.

If, upon showering, my towel was to accidentally fall to the floor (gosh, imagine!) in what should be the privacy of my own home, there is likely to be a power-tool wielding lunatic at the window ready to take offence...

Hanatarash (I didn't mention them, but it's more Japanese noise...)
And so went my morning outburst; it is now late in the evening.  The memory of the rude awakening is long gone, but there will certainly be further disturbances again tomorrow morning.  I regret not documenting the whole monstrous project; turning it into a daily blog (yes, another one) including sound recordings of the nrrggggggghhhhhh zzzzzzzzzzzzggggggrrrrrrrrr-gah-gah-gag.Grrrrrrr-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz nnnnnnneeeeeeeeerrrrrrr aaaaahhhhh, etcetera, etc, e& that constantly permeates our mornings....

Anyone ever heard of Merzbow?  He is a sound artist (sometimes wrongly called a musician) from the Japanese noise (sometimes wrongly called noise music) scene, mildly known for releasing a 50 CD album entitled Merzbox.  Let’s just both have a little listen to some Merzbow and contemplate why this might be on my mind:

Yep, that’s right – fucking awful.  Sure, it has its place, but that place is not outside my bedroom window at 7.30 in the fucking morning.  Every day, for eight weeks.  I’d hang speakers out of the window and blast the entire Merzbox at them (yes, it’s on my external hard drive; what of it?) if I didn’t think they’d just crank up the masonry drills and jam along.  I need to get them when they least expect it; in the peaceful confines of their own beds at home, when their partners are just enjoying their first lie-in for weeks.

I know 7.30am is not night and most people are up and about (or at least munching cereal in front of BBC Breakfast) at that time, but I stay up late reading and blogging, and between nine and ten is my natural time to be roused.  And call me old fashioned, but there are more pleasant ways to be parted from slumber that having steel bore through solid brick inches behind your head.  I’d prefer a cuddle.  Not from a builder though.  Or maybe...  Given the ultimatum I may decide that a cuddle from a builder is better than the fucking racket they make.

Anyway, here is an interesting video from “Merzbow”; a sarcastic take on Silent Night.  How apt.  Twats.

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