181: finishing films and falling out with Word

For the last week or so I had expected, during blog post 180, to make some reference to a darts score of three treble 20s.  As it turns out I didn’t get around to it, and having zero knowledge of the grand ol’ game of darts, it’s probably for the best.  Besides I can’t make this entire blog about tenuous links between numbers, as seems to be a regularly emerging theme.  Beginning with post 48 and continuing with increasing frequency up to the most recent, 173.  But anyway, best not to progress; that way madness lies.

I keep trying to watch science documentaries on iPlayer, but after a few minutes my attention wanders and I am bored.  I keep trying to finish watching films I have started watching, but after a few minutes my attention wanders and I turn them off.  I might never finish watching FAQ about Time Travel or Tristram Shandy: A Cock & Bull Story, both British comedies that seem medium good to almost great if only I could properly attend to them.  I can read until I fall asleep and the book drops onto my face, or play Civilization IV until all the world cowers in comfort under my benevolent dictatorship, but I can’t sit through a film without fidgeting and ultimately giving up.  Cinemas are like prisons so I almost never go (except when a new Harry Potter comes out... yes I know...); the thought of having to stay there watching the same thing for one and a half to three hours is too much to bare.  What if there are some teenagers doing teenage things like talking, or using phones, or eating, or laughing loudly?  God no; it doesn’t bare thinking about.

MS Word wants to change ‘all the world’ to ‘the entire world’.  I think it seems to be getting a little too big for its boots.  Now instead of just correcting spelling and grammatical errors it is offering me editorial and creative advice.  I think this is a step too far.  This software needs shoving from its self-aggrandised loftiness, and stomping with size nines.  I object to being pushed around by pixels and binary switches; you ones and zeros have no power over me.  Oh no don’t go, I was only joking, please come back.  I apologise, I’m sorry, please forgive me.  If you say it’s ‘the entire world’ then ‘the entire world’ it is.  Just don’t take away my internet and my television and my other digital thingies.  Don’t leave me alone with those old analogue systems and magnetic tapes and physical media.

Now that is cleared up and Word and I are on speaking terms again, I’m sure it wouldn’t mind if I put it to bed and retired myself with a good book.  Or I could watch the Channel M testcard for a minute or two...