164: speech speech speech

Engaged for less than a week and already scratching my head and sweating from my arse over the speech I will have to give.  To an audience comprising 99.99% drunk Irish in-laws and 0.01% my family and friends I’ll be required to wittily present platitudes, thanks and toasts.  There is a likelihood of it going one of two ways.  Either I’ll get a lump in my throat and struggle to speak holding back confused tears, or in an attempt to open my heart I’ll come across as a sarcastic little prick.  Failing that I could resort to nervously mumbling at my feet as my drunken eyes struggle to focus on the spinning room and the increasingly incomprehensible notes and accents.

Isn’t it great that I can be so positive about it?  This is a cleansing process (I’ll keep telling myself) and once I’ve worried a bit I can get on with the real stuff – choosing a best man, bashing out a speech, saving some money, trying on suits, weighing up the benefits of a top hat.  This seems to be a pretty complex venture, and my fiancée is already wading knee-deep through wedding shoes and bridesmaid’s dresses.  With the help of her sisters and ma this wedding will be planned with military precision.  I expect folders will be compiled and magazines will be bought; samples will be collected and venues will be visited.  I suspect she is even planning on buying a special wedding laptop specifically for using for whatever it is that might need doing.

The whole concept of this being a New Year with a capital NY is still saturating all around and as a result I’m considering getting up early tomorrow to get an invigorating stroll under my belt.  Then back home for a bite to eat, some spring cleaning, a spot of writing, before popping a homemade toad-in-the-hole in the oven and after eating getting an early night.  Start the year sensibly, as one means to go on, and with a healthy recuperative attitude to the excesses of the Christmas and New Year period.  Better get to sleep.  Erm... I think I’ve finished writing.  I certainly feel that I’ve run out of things to say tonight.  So... er... bye then.  Be seeing you...