... but I stopped. Now I'm a dad, and may blog again...

Friday, April 20, 2012

574: Peter Kay, Manchester's Uncle Knobhead


Apropos of nothing, today, I heard someone say 'Dancing? Dancing like Uncle Knobhead, were you? Uncle Knobhead, eh? Eh? Eh, eh, Uncle Knobhead, eh? Yeah, everyone's got one, haven't they? Haven't they, eh? Uncle Knobhead, yeah? [repeat ad infinitum et nausea]'. Oh great, I thought, Peter bloody Kay is here. In't he, eh? Eh, yeah? Peter Kay, eh? Yeah? (I don't know why I'm doing this 'eh, yeah' thing; I don't know if he does that because it's so long since I heard his crappy comedy show, but in my imagination it -along with remembering sweets and TV programmes- entirely comprises his routine.)

The point is, obviously, I fucking hate Peter Kay. Here is my review of him in brief; he's shit. Yep, that was it. Nothing more to say, but I'll give it a go. It is a fact that his shtick is just remembering things from a vague shared cultural childhood from the 1970s or 80s, and repeating it back to a braying stadium of arfing clapping yokels. Hahaha, that's funny cos I remember it too, hyulk-hyulk.

Here are some things I remember: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (was it Ninja or Hero, they couldn't make up their minds could they. Always eating pizza weren't they, and throwing it about the place!); penny sweets (cost a penny, didn't they, DIDN'T THEY? ANSWER ME! What happened to penny sweets, eh? Inflation, wasn't it. They're called Haribo now, aren't they!); playing out (that was fun wasn't it); being a kid (like an adult but shorter and more immature, eh? Eh?). Etcetera, etc, &c.

What about the fact that he keeps releasing DVDs of the same show over and over again, just recorded in different venues. Or the fact that he cynically used the promise of giving one pound to charity, from each item of merchandise sold during his tour, in order to sell much more merchandise and further line his fat bank vault. In my opinion he should have given 100% of the merchandise profit to charity, and half of the ticket sales. And he raised money unquestioningly for the cancer fraud 'Dr' Burzynski. So Peter Kay does charity work, but it seems it is only ever high profile stuff that he can use to boost his own reputation. The majority of other touring comedians do a regular circuit of untelevised charity benefits and fundraisers. Richard Herring lugs a Scope collection bucket with him everywhere he goes.

Yes, I am a fan of Richard Herring and Stewart Lee, who also happen to have used comedians like Peter Kay as baddy figures of fun in their routines. So I am just copying them, aren't I, eh, eh? Well, yes. They are comedy experts so their opinion is more valid than mine. They write an entirely new show for each tour/DVD release. They are better. They are good. Peter Kay is not. So there. I'm off for some garlic bread.

Garlic bread.

Garlic.

Bread.

(P.S. Phoenix Nights was pretty good.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree, he's an unfunny shit pile.

jason lewis said...

Frankie Boyle gets a lot of stick, maybe deservedly so because there is no line he will not cross. But when he sued the papers for claiming he was racist he gave every penny of it to charity. I couldn't imagine fat boy chunk ever doing that. And talking of the same material I've seen footage from when he started out and they were all the same tired routine, so all the stuff on the top of the tower dvd were like a decade old by that point. And his last show, I forced myself to watch it when it was on tv. Jesus. The first half was his reminiscences, mixed in with a lot of call backs to previous 'jokes' adding nothing new, just referencing them. The mark of laziness if ever I saw it. The second half consisted of misheard lyrics. A sure sign he has nothing worth saying. And his encore is him, holding a spade, pretending he's playing guitar as classic rock blares out of the PA, followed by the obnoxious fat shit murdering 'We are the champions'. Somebody shoot this big fat fuck. Please?