Eeee by gum. It's Saturday. Lots of blog catch-up to do. Spent the morning tidying the flat and the afternoon wandering around Manchester with my dad. Got him measured for his suit cos, you know, I'm getting married soon, I am. Speaking of getting married, it's my fiancee's hen-do tonight. My mum and sister will be stopping in the flat with me tonight so currently I'm home alone, blogging, having a cheeky wee beer or two, and waiting for the female fam' to roll up on my doorstep drunk off two glasses of wine. The real reason I'm writing this fairly pointless diary entry, of interest to literally no-one, is that I've not blogged since Monday, I'm distracted by Britain's Got Talent (and what of it!?), I'm stalling for time and just wasting everyone's time.
If anyone's is still reading, which I hope they aren't, I've just noticed on the Traffic Source section of my blog's stats, that the blog has had five hits for the search term 'how to collect human semen'. Now, I'm no expert (except maybe with regard to my own, but I have no letters after my name to prove my credentials) but I would have thought it a fairly simple, self-explanatory process. Unless of course the collector is attempting to amass the definitive collection; maybe, for instance, a sample from every single man in Cornwall whose name begins with J. Then I would understand the need for a bit of guidance.
Perhaps an issue of larger importance is how the deary-me has 'how to collect human semen' being directing people to this blog? There must be some reason; something I've said, presumably, but at this point I can't remember everything I've written about here. On the second page (of about 7,000,000) on doing a google search for 'how to collect human semen' is a link to an article about Incubi at the 'Miskatonic University College of the Magic Arts'. Which is weird because Miskatonic University doesn't exist. It's a fictional university created by author H.P. Lovecraft who I have blogged about repeatedly. Is this somehow the tenuous link that has brought the semen-seekers here? It must be, because the only mention of semen in this blog (before this admittedly semen-heavy... or -stained), is in a nonsensical free-association inspired by Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica here.
You know, so, erm. That's told you. Now if I hit 'publish' I'll be forever condemning myself to waves of semen-searchers, misdirected to this pointless post about nothing. Dear god. Sometimes I wonder why I write this shit.