484: ...and at number something high!

I entered Xmas, I mean Christmas, with a huge amount of non-specific laughter and a in-the-background televised countdown of the best Christmas songs ever, hosted by Noddy Holder, the singer from Slade. I don't actually think he chose his own top fifty, and placed them in the exact order he deemed appropriate. However I have decide to level mild opprobrium on his top three. Obviously my reason for doing so is simply that it disagrees with my own. "He" put The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl's Fairytale of New York at number three. That is obviously wrong. It goes at number one, everyone knows that. It is a song about the entirety of human relations viewed through the lens of a confusing muddled traditional public festival and high drunkenness. It has that gorgeous lyrical interplay between the strong female voice and the broken male voice. As well as proudly sporting the line "happy Christmas, your arse, I pray to god its our last" it also contains the achingly beautiful summation of love in the couple-a couplets:

I could have been someone

Well so could anyone

You took my dreams from me

When I first found you

I kept them with me babe

I put them with my own

Can't make it all alone

I've built my dreams around you

John Lennon and Yoko Ono's Happy Xmas (War is Over) was at number two. I love the sentiment, but I don't feel it in any way. I view it as a bit of a let down, and would not put it at number two. If I'm honest Fairytale of New York is my number two (only just, and only recently), and Jona Lewie's Stop the Cavalry is my number three. Noddy Holder put this at number something high... certainly higher than that atrocity by Mariah Carey... I feel I have let down my parents by not emoting highly about the John and Yoko anthem. While I will not say much in favour of that song, I will say plenty in favour of Yoko and her relationship with John. I think The Beatles had had it anyway, but even if I'm wrong I still think its terrible when people moan about him finding love, and accuse her of ruining The Beatles. Pure class A bollocks. It's like giving Reagan credit for the fall of the Soviet Union: it was on its way down regardless of outside interference, rotting from the inside.

Like a big dumb wanker Noddy Holder put his own shallow cheese-fest tune at number one; you know the Slade song where he shouts It's Chrisssstmaaasssssss!!!! Yeah, that one.