It's officially xmas, Christmas, yule, das vinterfest; I declare it so, for I am now off work for ten days, and paying visit to my inlaws' house, which is warm, cosy, festival and fantastic. I'm not convinced it is christmas on the first of December, when certain songs and tints and hints of tinsel materialise around the borders of advertisements; but ignore the advertisers, the commercial cunts I mean clowns, i can now confirm it is christmas hoozah hoorah hooray hoozay. All I'm going to do for the duration of this post is make non-specific ramblings about being relieved to have a week and a bit off work, and excited to spend christmas with family (new), and excited to spend xmas & new year with family (original). Dear my niece, if your reading this, which your not, because you're too young, perhaps you can correct my spelling on the first and second "your/you're" of this sentence; and perhaps you could stop reading now because I am about to ruin the surprise of your xmas present: you're getting some dinosaurs – awesome.
I really hope satan brings me some dinosaurs too, and a rocket, and Mouse Trap board game, and a hat, and a cat, and a coat, and a hotel, and – no that's it. No more no less. I really struggled to get the start of this paragraph out. I intentionally wrote satan instead of santa, intending it to be a silly easy-to-miss throw-away joke, but now I've messed that up by going on about it. The only reason I started on about it, is because I struggled so much forcing out that crappy list of "things I want" that I've just sort of gone off the rails and am no longer concerned about the words, their splellink or even the meaninging of my jar ham space tortoise. See, I say, see, writing "comedy" lists is funny, I mean not funny, not funny i.e. unfunny. And since when did I start thinking I could be funny or whatever or summin.
Like someone drinking themselves to death could be conceived, understood to be, a protracted suicide, this blog post is obviously a protracted attempt at saying "I am very tired, too tired to write a coherent blog post, a little drunkin tooo too, and really outta zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz