Unexpectedly that turned out actually to be ten. Don’t blame me that there are no Beatles albums; that’s just me. And don’t blame me that there is no Oasis or Radiohead. That is their fault for being unbearably shit. Obviously Never Mind the Bollocks is the best British album. It exploded in the most ridiculous fashion, and despite all the hype, negative publicity and self-destruction it is still the most perfect punk, rock, or just straight-up rock n roll album ever. Perfect catchy songs, the purest sneering screams, hugely underrated musicianship, and not only is it the best punk album – it is the only punk album. Sorry, the Clash, the Buzzcocks, but you are little baby girls compared to the Sex Pistols.
I almost left Pink Floyd off the list cos I struggled to choose, but eventually I supplied the correct answer. As great as Piper at the Gates of Dawn and The Wall are (and as wank as The Division Bell is), they belong to Syd Barrett, Roger Waters (and David Gilmour) respectively. Dark Side of the Moon belongs to Pink Floyd as a whole (sorry Syd), before the epic battle of the egos kicked off proper. Keen eyes will have noticed that I couldn’t make the same tough decision with regards to Aphex Twin, and kept two of his albums in the list. It just had to be done. Two words, 4 and Ageispolis.
Just time for a brief builder update before bed. They came in through the roof. Swarms of them beating on the beams and sweeping in the attic. I felt besieged like Robert Neville in I Am Legend, but don't worry, I'm Ok. They are gone now, but will be back by dawn. They are reverse vampires.