"If we haven't got it you don't need it," lies the advert. It's a stupid advert. So stupid in fact that I think it deserves a swear word. It's a fucking stupid advert. (Aside: would the phrases 'fucking stupid advert,' and 'stupid fucking advert' have notably distinct meanings?) A bald shop assistant draws attention to a little speaker hanging off his earring, music blares, long curly hair explodes from his scalp, then he turns to his side and thrusts his genitals away from the customer. The gist of the advert is that you don't need a speaker earring and The Range (for that is the name of the shop) doesn't sell what you don't need.
I dispute that claim; blatant false advertising. And no, I'm not going to explain my reasons, tenuous and unrealistic as they are, why I am in desperate need of a speaker earring. Those reasons are my own. Here are some of the things that people need on a regular basis that The Range does not sell: milk (but it does sell milk jugs, and milk bottle holders, which I dispute anyone ever needing), shampoo (unless for car or carpet), tampons, laptops, clean water, nappies, broadband, a holiday, a drink (but they can provide for those in desperate need of a Dr. Who drinks bottle, pheww).
My jaw has just dropped. One of the important and unlikely necessities I have searched for they actually do supply: Ibuprofen. But, it's one of those offensively overpriced name brands bought by idiots with too much money. Why spend £1.89 on Hedex when the exact same compound is available for 41p in a Tesco own brand box. Repeat: THE EXACT SAME COMPOUND. So The Range still cannot provide anything actually needed. I need to pay 41p or less for Ibuprofen, ideally in as minimal packaging as possible; not £1.89 for a brand. This is not like getting supermarket own brand bread where there may be a difference in quality. It's the same fucking thing.