324: Who will survive...

A History of Horror with Mark Gatiss has sent me straight for Misfits on spotify ; Return of the Fly, Mommy Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight, Where Eagles Dare, Die Die My Darling, Hollywood Babylon, Hybrid Moments, Night of the Living Dead, Braineaters, etcetera etc &c. Doubtful that was the lovely Mark's intent, but as far as I can see it's as good as any. Every new one-minute blast of Evil Elvis's evil warbling, quitely screeeching in the poorly mix, would make me scream chooon if I was anybody else. Certainly is a match for the melodious tones of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre soundtrack ; the film with the best tagline ever (don't be a spazz, I'm talking about the original) Who will survive and what will be left of them?

Ed Gein and Charles Manson ; Leatherface and Damien .... Albert Fish liked nails and pins. Glen Danzig likes wolves and muscles. Kevin Bradshaw likes YouTube and Spotify. Erm, where was I? I don't know, something about eagles or reel-to-reels, craniophagy or mixology. No that wasn't it; I think I hadn't started yet, not yet penned-to-paper, clean sheet clean slate clean underwear. Under the sea, baby/darling it's better, down where it's wetter, under the sea. He stopped to look at the wall then the bookshelf then the sleeping person in the room and decided that stream-of-consiousness is more trouble than it's worth, more effort than it looks, more trouble with tribbles, more than meets the eye.

I missed episode one of A History of Horror ; where can I watch it ? – BBC iPlayer has no adverts that crash and waste time like ITVplayer or 4oD, but it rarely keeps programmes on display for more than a week. To the people of BBC: stop deleting stuff, have you not learnt your lesson from the days of deleting Dr. Who ; wiping tapes and starting afresh? Get a gigawigamegamintahyperbyte drive and archive that shit muther fucker. Archive that shit like a bitch. Drop it like it's hot. They don't make horror like they used too : They don't want the classic horror films anymore. Today it's all giant bugs. Giant spiders, giant grasshoppers – who will believe such nonsense?

The Man of a Thousand Faces – Lon Chaney – Laugh Clown Laugh ha ha he he deformed mutilated made-up dead ; he did all his own make-up head in a box, plastic eyes and wire (not sellotape) to pin back the nose. But he's dead now so he can't be all that smart can he. The Book of Imaginary Beings by Georgy Borgy cannot draw me in ; I pick it up and huff and puff and put it down again. I long for people; then again I loathe them. End of Autumn. End of Spring – Summer begins Murakami celebrates – I epalpebrate. Not really ; I've got mad eyebrows. Lon Chaney wouldn't know what to do with them.