... but I stopped. Now I'm a dad, and may blog again...

Saturday, February 11, 2012

520: Brainstorming in the Inventor's Lab

Watching series three of 24 and there is a new face; one that I was almost certain I recognised from something else. You know the situation: you think who is that, what have they been in so using Wikipedia or IMDB you find the character, follow the link to the actor's page then see what else they have been in. In this case the character was Jack Bauer's new assistant in the CTU office, Chloe O'Brian, played by the actress Mary Lynn Rajskub who I have never heard of. I was sure I recognised her from something, but the only roles she has portrayed that I have seen are a minor character in shitty film Road Trip and an Art Garfunkle fan in an episode of Flight of the Conchords. Neither of these were strong enough links to be the place where I recognised her from. This leads me to the conclusion that I didn't actually recognise her at all. So maybe she just looks like someone. She looks very slightly like Juliette Lewis, but I don't think that's it. Which leads me to my amazing new invention:

I have invented (but not in any way built, made, manufactured or planned) a piece of software on that internet that tells you who people look like. You take a screen grab from a film or TV show, or a photograph of your face, or the face of a friend (we all have them... faces I mean, not friends), and the software analyses the face with all technical stuff and internet power, and then provides a list of similarly appearanced famous people who you might be thinking of. That way you will always be able to get an answer to the important question who does she look like? Now all I need is a piece of string, some double sided sticky tape, an adult to help me with the scissors, a blow torch and a nail gun and I can build this shit. Yeah, I'm on it.

Invention number two: shovel gloves. Shovel/spade heads that you wear on your hands; useful for picking up piles of litter or leaves and depositing them into a bin bag that someone is holding open for you. I would be utterly amazed if these don't already exist somewhere, but a very brief google of the term "shovel gloves" reveals only the bizarre and unrelated website Shovelglove.com. This is a very basic html website describing a physical workout that involves wrapping a jumper around the head of a sledgehammer and waving the thing about a bit. Genius, in no literal sense of the word. It's very funny including such gems as "The only other exercise I do is walk (I say only, but I think walking is even more important for long term health than shovelglove) ," and "I didn't want to grovel on my stomach on the floor, like some degraded beast. There must be some kind of movement I can do standing up, with the dignity of a human being, I thought". And thus we have one kind of shovel glove, in a very different form than the one I have postulated.

End of brainstorming session.

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