25

OK, busy day afoot.  I got up 10.20 ish.  Much later than I intended and have much to do today.  Illustrations for Blank Pages next issue (my last as guest illustrator; but probably not the last contribution I’ll make), mystery shop reports for a day job I’m going for, artists CV and proposal for an installation at Nexus Art Cafe, mow the lawn, eat, get started on some writing I need to do, and of course write this here blog.  What a list; better get started.  This is going to require some Frank.  Let’s have disc three of Läther; Filthy Habits and The Ocean is the Ultimate Solution.  Carefully chosen so as not to cause too much distraction.  Distraction from the world: good.  Distraction from the word: bad.  So, no The Adventures of Greggery Peccary, “Oh here comes Greggery, little Greggery Peccary, the nocturnal gregarious wild swine...”  Nope, none of that.

Filthy Habits holds the dubious distinction of being the only Zappa song my dad can bear the sound of.  It has no musique concrète tape twists, no speedy xylophone solos, no 23/4 bass lines, no goofy MOO-WAH vocals, and simply not a hint of sarcasm.  Basically nothing to define it as Frank.  Except of course the fantastic guitar playing.  But Gary isn’t here complaining about my music (I’m a growed-up now).  So let’s have some Broken Hearts are for Assholes and The Illinois Enema Bandit.  Yes, that’s more like it.  Stoopid lyrics about idiots and bumming sung in mock Motown, backed by carefully composed solos, and intricately entwined in-jokes.  Three minute songs dragged squealing, wheezing and scrawling to twelve by journeyed spoo.  Frank’s three note vocal baritone range plods along, as the real singers take up the slack.  Notated drumming that turns the stave paper black.  Lemme Take You to the Beach with its hyper-ostinato twiddling, perfect for the annoying ringtone role.  It’s going on my phone right now.

Boring housekeeping stuff to do now; mainly tidying my desk.  Putting away stuff that has no home.  “This is a petulant frenzy.  I’m petulant and I’m having a frenzy.”  Ok, too much glockenspiel... Enough.  Now I’m just singing along to Big Leg Emma and can’t concentrate on writing.  Music off.  I haven’t checked the news today.  Let’s see what is going on in the world:

Coalition government to close mixed-sex hospital wards.  German pop singer deliberately infected men with HIV.  Axl Rose cancels Guns N Roses world tour on twitter, without first telling the band or the venues.  Ban Ki-moon tours Pakistani flood devastation with President Zardari.  Fire-fighters rescue boy with his head stuck in a toilet seat.  Overpaid children begin another year of kicking balls and pretending to fall over; men all over the country continue to think this is interesting and important.  Nick Clegg appears to be enjoying coalition government.  And all is well and good in the world...  Except all the bad stuff... But whatcha gonna do about it...