... but I stopped. Now I'm a dad, and may blog again...
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poetry. Show all posts

Monday, May 14, 2012

594: Party In Your Eye-Socket poetry/prose anthology


Here's a little book. A zine. "An independently run poetry and prose anthology." It's rather a nice object, and arrived in the post beautifully sealed in brown paper and string, accompanied by a badge and a sticker ... or it may just be a piece of paper; I didn't check and it's in the other room. (Edit: I've checked: it is a sticker.) This isn't an academic essay; my research is casual to non-existent. It's also not a review, either. I just wanted to put this out there as a nice place to submit your flash fiction and poetry to. I submitted something to this, the first issue of Party In Your Eye-Socket; it didn't get in, but hey-ho, never mind about that.

So, if you're a poet, or like me prefer short stories, send them into these guys in advance of issue two. And, you know, buy issue one obviously. We're all in this together, trying to get things in print so people can hold them and read them, so when a couple of little guys get it together to make something, it helps to part with a few quid for it. Not everything is free. It's an anthology, so it's not all good (I don't want to name names but I have read at least one terrible story in it), but it is good; good variety, good design, a good little package. I enjoy using words like good and nice; much more powerful than constantly overusing words like genius or awesome.

I'm rambling. Being doing that a lot recently.


Thursday, January 12, 2012

497: A poem (epic) about bananas

Banana banana
Banana banana banana

I haven't worked out this poem yet
but there's a bit at the start
where I introduce the subject matter
subtly

It then progresses,
(the poem I mean, not the banana)
on a path of its own
encapsulating life, the wider world,
the non-banana world,
but all along anchored
by the humble banana

And so, as I said,
it started subtly
The poem not the banana

But bananas too also start
from humble beginnings,
they grow on plants
long cultivated by humans

The seeds they contain
are residual at best,
I've never known anyone complain
of a banana seed 'tween their teeth

Their name means 'finger'
in Arabic, or so I'm told
by Wikipedia

In other media,
QI to be precise,
I learn the banana plant can 'walk'
of its own accord

The truth of this I cannot confirm
It might be true,
it might not;
How would I know?

Others know and have known
more on the subject of bananas
than I would ever want to know

I'm sure its fascinating
For botanists and their lucky spouses,
but honestly
I'll always be biased 'cause

Unfortunately
for Chiquita, Del Monte, Dole and Fyffes
I can't stand the stuff

The white mush
which looks so good
yet smells so bad

sits securely inside
the yellow skin,
pleasing to the eye

the illusion of design

Every year or so
I'll give them a try.
One's taste buds change
and develop over time.

Aged seventeen I couldn't finish
a pint of Guinness
but now I could, and do
with relish,
now pour me another

So one day maybe,
just maybe,
I'll taste a banana and love it

Until that day,
I'll retain suspicion
maintain inhibition
disdain their incompatibility with my otherwise adventurous constitution

I feel the same way too
about poetry
I think

It seems tenacious
and perhaps that's a sign
that people prefer their lives

to contain occasional bananas
and occasional poems

Despite my proclamations
to love this or hate that
Secretly I am loathe to make judgement

Until further evidence is presented.
I could be right,
or it might all be a matter of opinion

fluid, elastic, subjective opinion.
Liable to change
at any time.

If ever bananas develop a taste
pleasing to my buds,
or conversely those taste buds

change to accommodate the banana
I'm sure I'll mention it
In a blog or something.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

414: A Night of Poetry Appreciation at Home


I know nothing about poetry.... but I know what I like... and that's Gothic 90's metal with lyrics that sound kind of like they could be by an 19th Century Romantic poet... chiefly I'm talking about the Cradle ofFilth albums The Principal of Evil Made Flesh and Cruelty and the Beast, but for a laugh I'm going to throw in Marilyn Manson's Antichrist Superstar and Type O Negative's Bloody Kisses and October Rust, even though I'm going well off my initial claim. So what, it's my blog I can say what I want, and I'm trying to get it writ' as quick as so I can flick back to the other OpenOffice doc with the novel partially laid out inside.

As a break from trying to work out character, setting, motivation, and communicate all those using free-flowing yet tightly structured prose in a minimalist style free from cliche and lazy adjectives. It's tiring work; not as hard as doing a real job, but it's not my job so I reason I am free to complain... having said that, I'm doing it out of choice because I love doing it, so I have no right to complain. But I so enjoy complaining, oh I really do. My back hurts, and I don't have a comfortable writing chair, so I will soon be crippled by bad posture and repetitive strain. OK, complaining over. Now back to the poetry.

I have four, no five, actual books of poetry, and have rarely skimmed them. They are as follows: Japanese Death Poems, Rimbaud, Collected Works of Keats, 'Emergency Kit' Poems for Strange Times', and Poems from Lancashire Life by Jonty Throp. For your delight and delectation I will recite here my favourite poem (well, excerpts, not the whole bloody things) from each book:

Smookin'
by Jonty Throp

Mi faither's main 'obby were smookin'
'E'd allus a pipe in 'is gob
Un' Mam favvered t'allus t'be chunnerin'
Abeawt aw t'brunt matchstalks reawnd th'ob

When 'er geet proper mangy 'er'd tell 'im
'E thowt mooer o't'pipe than 'is wife.
Ah couldn't stond seein' Mam strikin'
Un' it put me off smookin' for life.

Sometimes I like to ready Jonty Throp aloud and piss my self laughing, and the broad language and humour. Despite being born and bred in Lancaster, Lancashire I cannot work out which Lancashire dialect/accent this is; there are hundreds of them and I don't really know my Chorley from my Preston from my Wigan from my Bolton, or whatever. I would love to hear Jonty reading his own poetry aloud, perhaps whilst following along from the book.

Cut
for Susan O'Neill Roe
by Sylvia Plath
(from Emergency Kit)

What a thrill -
My thumb instead of an onion.
The top quite gone
Except for a sort of hinge

Of skin,
A flap like a hat,
Dead white [...]

How you jump -
Trepanned veteran,
Dirty girl,
Thumb stump.

The sudden explosion of physical emotion, so long sealed up in the flat lined mind of the middle-ground manic depressive; no highs or lows felt for so long, and suddenly a wave of self hate , introspection and dramatic over-reaction, brought out by the accidental chopping off of the tip of a thumb. Physically and emotionally blunt and brutal; beautiful, tragic, comic – the reason I will never get into poetry is the perfection of this Plath piece.

The Hanged Men Dance
by Arthur Rimbaud

Beelzebub jerks ropes about the necks
Of small black dolls who squirm against the sky;
With slaps, with whacks and cuffs and kicks
He makes them dance an antique roundelay.

[...]

Hurrah the jolly dancers, whose guts are gone.
About the narrow planks they jerk and prance.
Beelzebub roars the rasping fiddles' song.
Hop, they cannot tell the battle from the dance.

Quite simply gallows humour. It's as if Rimbaud – who apparently wrote all his poetry between the ages of 17 and 21, and then just sort of fucked about until he died at the age of 37 – just thought gallows humour! Lo, I shall make merry and laugh heartily at yonder dead fuckers swinging – look how they swing, with their still hearts and emptied bowels – it's as though the devil mocks them, and they in turn mock us, the living.

Jisei - Death Haiku
by Chogo
(In Japan it is traditional for poets, artists, writes, philosophers, etc to write a poem as they approach their own death.)

Hito koishi
hito mutsukashishi
aki no kure

I long for people -
then again I loathe them:
end of autumn

Amongst all the poems, verses and haiku contained in Japanese Death Poems this is, to me, the most honest and direct. It states a conflicted deep feeling of simultaneously holding a yearning for love and peace, clamour and quiet, company and solitude. Then it states end of autumn – death. No fuss; just life, then death. It is, within the confines of the genre, perfect. Many other poems in the book seem silly or trite; over reliant on cliched metaphor. True the reference to the end of autumn is a cliched metaphor, but it merely forms a sudden afterthought, like a falling axe. The focus of the poem is not on the metaphor for death, but on the reflection of life's conflict.

Unfortunately without becoming fluent in the nuances and traditions of Japanese calligraphy I will never fully be able to appreciate any of these poems. They are not just poems, they are paintings, and reading the translation (however well done) will always be more similar to reading a description of a painting than it will be to actually viewing the painting. (A well translated haiku should never try to fit into the seventeen syllable pattern; this works in Japanese but not in translation.)

I have not read any of the fifth poetry book I own, Poetical Works of Keats, so can't pick from that. I don't even know where it's come from. It is old, with no dust cover, and has a stamp inside saying 'Crewe and Alsager College Library' so I can only assume I bought it second hand, from the library or a local charity shop, when I was at university.

Anyway, what was I talking about... music or something. Oh yes, music. Now lets have some lyrics I love from ugly songs I love. But just a small amount, otherwise I would just end up copy-and-pasting almost everything from the albums I mentioned from the start. So let's tread lightly and begin here:

Beneath the Howling Stars
by Cradle of Filth

She danced so macabre
Men entranced divined from Her gait
That this angel stepped from a pedestal
Had won remission from fate
By alighting to darker spheres
Delighting in held sway
For She was not unlike the Goddess
To whom the wolves bayed

"Whilst envy glanced daggers
From court maidens, arboured
Who whispered in sects
Of suspicions abroad
That Elizabeth bewitched
See how even now the whore casts
Her spells upon the Black Count
Whom Her reddened lips hold fast"

Tongue unto tongue
Swept on tides without care
For the harpies who rallied
Their maledict glares
A halo of ravens tousled Her hair
Chandeliers a tiara
For passions ensnared

See, lovely isn't it. Shame about all the screaming, some people say, what's the point having all those beautiful words if all he does is rant and scream them. You can't hear a word he says. Yes, but that's how it's supposed to be. Either consume it live at the concert, or alone whilst reading the libretto.

But, lo, for our tale takes a nasty turn, for it is not a tale of parties and happy endings, for Cruelty and the Beast is a concept album about the mass murderer Countess Elizabeth Bathory. Tied in are themes of bloodlust, war, deicide, orgiastic ritual, and devil worship; phew, what a night!

The Twisted Nails of Faith
by Cradle of Filth

Resplendent
In pendants
(Natal trophies torn from bellies of desanctified nuns)
A demon, bewinged, bedight
In scum, prowled their circle seeking entry to run
An arctic tongue upon Her vulva
Where rubies smeared to alabaster thighs
Glittered like a compact in the purse of a whore
Receiving sole communion from the body of Christ

"If blood is what thou craves, foul fiend
I will yield this much to thee
If thou wouldst draw a veil for Me
O'er lengthening scars of age and grief"

As the Demon slavered foetid vows
And bore His prey away
In talons itching to perpetrate
The nausea of eternal rape
The Sorceress screaming in His grasp
Spat a final curse to stain
The Countess with the promise
That Her lord at war would be cruelly slain

And She would rot.
Alone
Insane.
On the twisted nails of faith.

I almost succumbed to the urge to quote about five more stanzas from that song; they are just so good. Perhaps it's the fact that I first listened when I was about fifteen, and have continued to do so on a regular basis over all these passed years. Perhaps it's the tinny blast-beats and the Iron Maiden guitars that accompany them. Unlike poetry, which is supposed to contain the music within the words, lyrics stand proudly alongside their music, working together and, even if separated, containing each other.

This post has already gone on way too long, and before I start pulling all sorts of quotes from all over the place, let's just call it a day.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

345: So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away

Let us begin with a poem. Strictly speaking they are song lyrics, but the author of them – Mr Shane MacGowan – is undoubtedly one of the finest modern poets, and his words are a joy to read, and to hear. They have power depth meaning (all that stuff) – they can make you drink and make you die:

Well Jimmy played harmonica in the pub where I was born
He played it from the night time to the peaceful early morn
He soothed the souls of psychos and the men who had the horn
And they all looked very happy in the morning

Now Jimmy didn't like his place in this world of ours
Where the elephant man broke strong men's necks
When he'd had too many Powers
So sad to see the grieving of the people that he's leaving
And he took the road for God knows in the morning

We walked him to the station in the rain
We kissed him as we put him on the train
And we sang him a song of times long gone
Though we knew that we'd be seeing him again
Sad to say I must be on my way
So buy me beer and whiskey 'cause I'm going far away
I'd like to think of me returning when I can
To the greatest little boozer and to Sally MacLennane

The years passed by, the times had changed, I grew to be a man
I learned to love the virtues of sweet Sally MacLennane
I took the jeers and drank the beers and crawled back home at dawn
And ended up a barman in the morning

I played the pump and took the hump and watered whiskey down
I talked of whores and horses to the men who drank the brown
I heard them say that Jimmy's making money far away
And some people left for heaven without warning

When Jimmy came back home he was surprised that they were gone
He asked me all the details of the train that they went on
Some people they are scared to croak but Jimmy drank until he choked
And he took the road for heaven in the morning

-Shane MacGowan, The Pogues, Sally MacLennane

This wonderful song came straight to mind when I saw a bottle of Powers on sale in Gibraltar. A rare sight for me dwelling in England, but my love for this song has, by simple association, created a love for John Powers Gold Label Irish Whiskey. I snapped it up and now, unopened, it provides an exciting motivation for going home at the end of my holiday.

It may be trite (it is) to compare the words of this Irish writer to those of another , but in the heat I'm baking in right now I don't think I can think further than that. So hear goes: The epic scale of the small events of Sally MacLennane bring to mind the size and scope of James Joyce's Ulysses. The mundane and the daily, the inconsiquential and unknown, become vast in scope, monumental, staggering and wonderful.

The men who drink in the wee little boozer become mythical figures with great and terrible deeds attributed to them – The Elephant Man breaks strong mans backs when he's had too many Powers. That Irish whiskey – uisce beatha, water of life – grants the strength, the power to those who imbibe it, like Asterix the Gaul taking a wee dram of Getafix's magic potion; and the Elephant Man, about whom we know nothing else, defeats untold numbers of men of strength. We learn of this deed but hear no details.

Men leave to travel far to distant unnamed lands, they fall in love, they fight, drink, create beautiful and brutal music, drink too much and drink some more, talk of whores and horses – but always returning to that hub of activity, the centre of life, the grand ol' boozer. The mythical Irish or Catholic or Celtic spirit has never been summed up so perfectly as in the lyrics to a 1980's pop song with soap-opera lyrics, written and sung by a toothless drunken old punk and backed by a double-speed folk band.

My fondness and folly for this song and the spirit it embodies comes both from my love of the literature, the language, and the drink – but primarily for my love of a beautiful Irish woman. I'll have a wee dram to that. The years passed by, the times had changed, I grew to be a man and learned to love the virtues of sweet Sally MacLennane ; I went to Japan (to the boozers and izakaya of Osaka) and something similar happened. And I returned to the boozers of Lancaster and Manchester, and discovered some in Belfast. The only difference is I can't pull a pint, know nothing of whores and horses, have never worked a bar...

There is death in the song, but no birth. Instead we have those long gone returning to the place where their journey began ; an optimism about the unending cycle of life, despite the omnipresence of death.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

300: 300, poetry, and... where was I?


Thursday; Thor’s Day.  Daily blog number 300; legendarily the number of Spartans that faced the mighty Persian army at the battle of Thermopylae.  To me 300 seems like a milestone, an important event to celebrate, but predictably my chips were pissed on.  Apparently 300 doesn’t count as anything; it’s the 365 that I should be looking out for.  I don’t know which is more arbitrary, centuries or complete orbits of the sun.  What do you think?

Fortunately for everyone involved I haven’t read the Frank Miller graphic novel 300, and nor can I remember much about the film (other than its general unexceptional shittiness).  It was directed by Zack Snyder who nailed it when he directed Watchmen, so maybe I’ll give it a second chance one day.  If I had read it then some sarcastic pseudo-analogy would surely become the tenuous pretence for this post.  As it is I’ll barely mention it.  I won’t be going on and on about it in a lame effort to pretend I’m not going on about it.

300.

What was the name of that comic you have never read, which also spawned a film you didn’t really like directed by the guy who later made Watchmen which you loved?  Oh, you mean 300.  Yes that’s the one.  300.

Snore.


Apart from doing what I’m doing, what else will I be doing?  After I’ve finished writing this crap and leeching off BLANKSPACE’s internet (or even if I don’t get this finished), I’m going to pop down to greenroom for Freed Up (“Manchester’s friendliest open-mic nights for new poetry & spoken word”, with a shit MySpace thing as their website).  It is the last one to be hosted at greenroom before its imminent closure.  It’s also the first one I’ve ever attended.  I am going because two of my friends are performing, both talent poets.  I’m not really sure about what constitutes good poetry, but I know what I like, and cliché cliché cliché.  Funny and clever and free from cliché; that’s all I want.

The compères were an amusing double act that reminded me of David Walliams and Matt Lucas, especially when they are out of character and bantering. Dominic Berry and Steve O’Connor; it was extremely amusing and I hope the event can find a new home soon.  Dominic did a funny skit with a magic kettle or something.  Erm... it was good; I liked it.  Sometimes it rhymed.

I’m loosely involved in a little project to make some performance videos of a poet friend of mine; he has ambitions of performing at Glastonbury et al, and requires moving pictures for his curriculum vitae.  So as a little act of research into the genre of performance poetry video, here is Dominic Berry, Kevin Eldon and Simon Munnery (which is kind of like weird poetry stand-up something).

Thursday, May 12, 2011

291: A Good Year for Fishing



Ross Sutherland is a performance poet/stand-up comedian, touring a multimedia show containing animation and music; The Three Stigmata of Pacman.  Yesterday BLANKSPACE hosted the show in a special In_Tuition creative writing event.  It was free to get in, free bar, and a brilliant show, all for the price of a smile.  I had never heard of Ross before, except when Abby and John mentioned they had booked him, and really had no idea what to expect.  Poetry, ho hum; but no!  It was lively, exciting, properly well produced, and most importantly, piss funny.


Occasional poems, some of which spilled over into a kind of rap or toast, fit nicely into a larger narrative about the last year of Ross’ life.  I don’t think it’s right to give away spoilers, and it’s certainly not write to ruin jokes, so I’ll stay away from any details (even though Ross himself gives some jokes away in trailer).  But needless to say, the narrative he has created is extremely strong, had me completely hooked, and never bored.  As a poet not all of it is played for laughs, but the quieter introspective moments help to build the show into a complete work of art.

I sat near the back for the show, drinking the biggest glass of white wine I could get, wishing I had my notebook with me to record some of the cleverer lines.  Early in to the show I thought to myself Ross is like a cross between Stewart Lee and Scroobius Pip.  I can’t quantify that thought; there is no actual sliding scale between those two disparate creatives, but if there were I would try and stick Ross on it somewhere.  It turns out I’m not the first to make the Stewart Lee observation; something called The List has already done that.  At least I didn’t lazily play the Dave Gorman documentary comedian card.


I want to talk a little about the bin, but that would set the spoiler alert flashing.  Needless to say it’s modified and it’s no ordinary bin; it’s symbolic.  Besides the props, music, and animation, Ross’ wordplay is satisfying enough to stand up by itself.  He throws away quality lines that lesser performers may milk more; he is confident enough to repeat himself, make obscure references, overplay and underplay, and all sorts of other great little tricks that inspire confidence and mirth.  I chuckled, chortled, and indeed guffawed.


Then we went to piss or smoke, charged our glasses, and grouped back for the Q&A.  I shoehorned an only partly relevant Stewart Lee quote into my question; partly because he was on my mind, and partly as a clever dick response to a reference to Simon Munnery that Ross made earlier in the evening.  By this point I was a bit drunk, and can’t remember the question or the answer.  The quote was the one about the last taboo in comedy being trying to do something well and sincerely without sneering sarcasm, bullying, or irony.  I feel strongly that Ross is among those breaking that taboo.

gofasterstripe.com
While watching the show I was thinking I wish I could buy this on DVD.  It isn’t out, but it should be.  There is a fantastic independent company called Go Faster Stripe.  They release budget, but professionally done, comedy DVDs of people that I love (Stewart Lee, Richard Herring, Lucy Porter, Simon Munnery, the actor Kevin Eldon, Robin Ince, etcetera etc &c), and that you do to.  If you want to see a Ross Sutherland DVD do what I have just done and drop an email to Chris Evans (not that one) from Go Faster Stripe politely requesting he consider the idea.  And then buy a DVD; I recommend all of them.


Friday, April 01, 2011

blankpages Issue 33: Out Now!

The blankpages team have been busy foraging through the artistic and literary landscape to bring you a jam-packed edition this month.
Highlights include more insights into the world of blogging (this month from Sarah-Clare Conlon of the award-winning Words & Fixtures), also your monthly fix of fiction and poetry, this time from Virginia Moffatt and Darren Thomas. We discover just what makes Creaturemag tick and our Music Editor, Baz Wilkinson, finds himself in a haunted vicarage talking to Brighton-born musician birdengine, providing This Month's mp3, which you can listen to (as always!) for free.
With so much going on between these pages, we don't know how you're going to put them down...

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Block Chop 79: Tabasco

The kitchen cupboard was empty of Tabasco for too long, a hole in my life I shall never let grow so large in future.  I brought the bottle home, excited by the pristine packaging, a printed box and labelled bottle, signed and authenticated by the long dead Edmund McIlhenny.  Unable to await the serving of slow-cooked bolognaise provided for me, I grabbed the bottle and twisted off its tiny top, revealing the tight aperture atop the slender neck.  Breathing deeply of the peppery aroma, in a room already infused with beefy tomato garlic goodness, the olfactory emotional response caused chaos, confusion and unplaceable positive connotations.

Many an exciting post-big shop evening has been spent shucking live oysters, tossing Tabasco onto the exposed slippery sensitive flesh of the hapless yet delicious bivalves, and slobbering them down my gullet like an orgiastic Nero-esque pleasurebot.  The senses tingle with mild Capsaicin poisoning and the fetishistic consumption of living tissue.  But for lack of oysters a thought crossed my mind:  I love oysters and Tabasco; I love Bloody Mary with Worcestershire and Tabasco, yet I have neither oysters, nor tomato juice and vodka.  I do have a freshly opened and delicious bottle of McIlhenny’s finest – let’s have a taste.

I leaned back my head and tipped down the fiery sauce in burning droplets which hit my lips and tongue, warming my face and raising an unquashable smile.  Perhaps it’s not recommended by those who provide lists of suitable addictions, but if it were I would perhaps allow myself to drift into an underworld of intravenous pepper sauce.  There be groups of Scov-heads and Tabas-fiends inhabiting dark dens where men become monsters and indulge in self administered pepper spray sessions.  Sometimes pure pepper spray is not available and the most desperate in the group, the lowest of the low, resort to quick hits of Mace.  Not being the crackhead type (at least, not today), I seem to have happened on a less extreme way of expressing today's unfathomable love for a cheap bottle of hot red water.  See below:

Uncalled-for Ode to Tabasco Sauce

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways
I love thee Capsicum, vinegar and salt
My tongue and cheeks, when feeling sad, alone, unfelt
And yearning taste of mild fire
I love thee base to burning spire
Unquiet mind, craves moving feast
I love thee freely, you taste to please
I love thee purely, for five millennial Scoville’s
I love thee with taste buds to kill
In my old griefs, and with lost childhood’s taste
I love thee like whisky, Guinness, shochu, sake,
Like sashimi, jerky, and anchovy paste
Smiles, tears, of all my life! – and, if I choose,
I shall but love thee better on everything I eat.


...weird.  I wrote a poem.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

MC Paul Barman - It's Very Stimulating & Paullelujah


I'm sharing this album and EP because I love them so much, and Paullelujah! seems to have completely disappeared off the map.  Unavailable even as mp3 on amazon or www.mcpaulbarman.com - what's with that?

If you download, do the right thing and buy Paul Barman's new album Thought Balloon Mushroom Cloud here: www.mcpaulbarman.com/audio.html

Buy It's Very Stimulating (320 mp3) with lyric zine for $5 directly from MC Paul Barman by clicking here/here

If you are Paul Barman and you want me to cease and desist just let me know.