478: The racist joke

Today I was told a racist joke, the gist of which was "aren't black people like monkeys". Before the joke I was asked "do you want to hear a funny joke?" Of course, I love funny jokes. Then came the ugly set-up line, which I have decided not to extend the life of by reproducing here. In the space between set-up and punchline, I said "I don't care, I don't want to know," but still the stupid racist punchline came. Nasty, vile, shitty, ignorant, hateful, stupid and deeply pathetic, all squeezed into eight words, ten seconds and one mime.

Stony-faced I replied "That's horrible, racist, and not funny." "Yes it is, other people laughed," I was corrected. The thought that people I know would laugh at that makes me sick to my stomach with shame. The joke wasn't funny (obviously that's not the point); there was no wit concealed beneath the racism, only a shallow reiteration of a hundreds-of-years old stereotype. "That's a joke for an idiot. Only an idiot would find that funny. Anyone who tells that or laughs should be ashamed of themselves." I am right.

The joke was told to me in private, one on one, but word obviously got around as someone else approached me later with a sort of "I hear you didn't like the joke. I've got a worse one. Do you want to hear it?" What the hell is wrong with people. You would not make these jokes among black people because you know it is wrong. Why do you think that because I am white I will happily be complicit in racism? Insult someone to their face with a joke like that and you would deserve the punch you would probably get. "People tell jokes about other people all the time," I was informed as if to justify it. Because something is common it can't be bad? Cancer is pretty common too.

"No, I don't want to hear an even more racist joke." I can't believe I actually had to say that. I said it to the people concerned, and I'll say it again: Telling jokes like that, and laughing at them, is disgusting, pathetic behaviour. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You have a right to say them if you think that's the way you want to live your life, but don't be surprised if people look down at you; don't be surprised if you lose friends.

I was brought up to respect people. To not accept stereotypes, to question preconceptions, to not join in with bullying and hateful baaing, to not be scared of the new and different, to treat my fellow humans like humans, to learn and always strive to know and understand, to be polite and considerate, but to challenge ignorance and injustice.  (That makes it sound like my parents had me in super hero training.)

I get the feeling that people seem to think its a good thing to laugh at racist jokes, even (or especially) when you don't really agree with the sentiment of the joke. That is fucking dumb. These kind of jokes are always about reinforcing crass generalisations and ugly stereotypes. Where is the humour in that? Surely the point of a joke is that it is funny. If you know a joke is "wrong", but it is not actually funny, why are you laughing just at its "wrongness"?

Laughing at or telling racist jokes doesn't necessarily make you a racist. At best you are thoughtless and inconsiderate; at worst, yes, you are just a racist. Even if you are not a racist, but you are laughing at or telling a racist joke, you are still doing something racist, and how is that any better?

Also, when you tell a racist joke you are making a very strong assumption about the listener. You have decided "this looks like the sort of person who would laugh along with me at my nasty little stereotype"; let us share a sordid giggle at the inferiority of other races. That is an insult, not just to the people who are the butt of the joke, not just to the human race as a whole, but to the individual you have assumed is stupid enough to laugh at your shitty joke.

And I'm still owed the "funny joke" I was promised.

367: Idiocy wears a balaclava

It's just a bunch of kids. Feral, cocky, aggresive kids. As I left work, at 5.45pm, it was already getting tense in Manchester's Picadilly Gardens. The storm clouds were gathering in the form of gangs in standard issue mob gear of tracksuits, hoodies, and scarves pulled up over faces. They sauntered down the tram track and up the middle of Mosley Street; strength in numbers; revelling in the looks of disgust they prompted from decent working and shopping people. Word had already spread that windows were being smashed in Market Street, and this group were walking away from there.

A commentator on the BBC (it was Nigel Nelson, not that it matters) has just claimed that "obviously people don't riot if they are happy, if they are content". (They might not have been the exact words, but they were to that effect.) As I see it though if these rioters are discontented that is no fucking excuse for anything. Oh, you poor, poor discontented under-class. I hope your new HD TV helps ease the pain you are feeling - the terrible discontent; organised using your BlackBerry Smartphones, and expressed by tearing apart the country that gives you free education, health-care, job seekers allowance, child benefit, council housing, democracy, national emergency services... Oh no, you're feeling discontented – awww, diddums.

I have no money, a part-time job I struggled to get after months of unemployment (which came after months in the most unbearably awful job),and bearly enough to pay the rent and bills with hardly any left to buy food or clothes. All of these things are at worst a minor convenience – we live in luxury, and for that should thank our democracy, our police, our fire service, our NHS, our councils, our schools. With perspective there is very little to be discontent about. Yes, times have been better, and they might get a little bit worse. But so what – you will not die of malnutrition or easily treatable disease, your home will not be bombed, you will not be imprisoned without trial for speaking against the government.

These looters are discontent (if indeed they are) about only having two massive TVs, not having enough government handouts to spend every day boozing and taking speed from 10am, having to potty train their own kids, not being able to punch themselves in the face without it hurting – every thing is down to greed, laziness and stupidity. They are an underclass of their own making. If you swear every other word, you will probably not pass a job interview; but don't blame that on anyone but yourselves. It might also help if you stopped shaving your skull and started breathing through your nose.

Back to Nigel Nelson's comment about not rioting if they are happy. Well, these rioters looked pretty fucking happy to me; they were having a great time – brainlessly showing off to the dumb bints that seem to cheering at the sidelines of every peice of news footage (listen to these fucking idiots), stomping around like they own the place – Woohoo, we can do what we want, duuuh. Last thought: if anyone is still trying to put the blame for starting this on the police for shooting that Duggan fella, so what if the IPCC says there was no evidence that he fired first. Are the police only to shoot in retaliation? Should they not have the right to shoot the lawbreaker with the gun (even if it turns out to be a replica) before he shoots them?

I love Manchester and I love the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. I love the rich mixture of cultures, heritage and history from all over the world that has made us the civilised, advanced, and exciting place we are today. I don't want it ruined by these little shits, and I'm sure you don't either. If you know anyone involved in looting or rioting then tell the police. Don't hesitate, do it now. Don't start with any shit about being a grass, or start with pretentious questions about the Orwellian nature of informing on your neighbours. The clean-up starts in Manchester Picadilly at 9am tomorrow. Be there to help restore Manchester, and to add your number to the peaceful protest against the destruction.

Manchester City Council twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/ManCityCouncil

Greater Manchester Police twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/gmpolice

Riot Clean-up Manc twitter - http://twitter.com/#!/RiotCleanUpManc

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Addendum
I received the following email in response to the above angry rant.  I reproduce it here, with permission from the author, to add a touch of much needed balance:

I think your latest blog is your most ill-informed, ill-considered right-wing rant yet. These riots have stirred up a lot of strong feeling throughout England and the usual knee-jerk reaction is to condemn the rioters and look for punishment and/or vengence. While, of course, all law-abiding citizens should condemn criminality, a more mature and civilised view is to examine the causes rather than focus solely on the effects.

The trigger for this unrest was a problem in London between the Met Police and locals. The Met is an organisation that has recently been proven to be endemically racist and corrupt. There is a perception that its officers do not treat all citizens equally. Is there room for doubt here? I don't know enough about the triggers that sparked the disturbances in other cities to comment on them.

As someone who lived through inner city rioting, I know that its wrong to jump to assumptions and conclusions regarding their causes, participants or purpose. When rioting started in Belfast in my childhood the UK Government's reaction was to imprison (without trial) every male over the age of 18 who was in any way suspicious - internment. This is particularly pertinent as the anniversary of that decision was yesterday. I witnessed normal law-abiding young people turn from happy-go-lucky teenagers into violent stone- and bottle-throwing thugs as a direct result of this 'strong' decision by the Government. The rest, as they say, is history. To punish the participants in the rioting and looting without considering the causes is naive at best and dangerous at worst. The causes will not go away.

To dismiss the participants as stupid, dole-grabbing, heavy-drinking, drug-taking 'shits' without any evidence to support this view is wrong. Why not wait and see who appears in court? I guarantee that most will be good citizens who never did anything wrong before - employed people, students, schoolkids, etc.

There's also a danger in putting all your trust in the 'establishment'. If there is doubt about the integrity of a major police force - to the extent that people were willing to take to the streets in protest immediatley - it warrants investigation. Again, history has proved this. In the 70s we were told that the rioters were terrorists and the police were the good guys. Again, history has proved that, in fact, the 'good guys' were just as bad and, in some cases, worse than the 'terrorists'.

Finally, if the rioters had a grievance against the police, who would they normally turn to? Politicans? Look at UK politicians. The expenses scandals alone should be enough to show that there are very few who can be trusted. And they got away with it! Maybe some people are thinking 'if the politicans are in it for what they can get, we should look after ourselves'?

You may dismiss this as middle-class liberalism but I think you should consider how people will react to what you post. While I understand the anger you and others may feel when you see your city being torn apart by thugs, I think there are wider issues to be considered here - don't get me started on 'free' education, the NHS - which has been under sustained attack by every government in my lifetime, the bankers getting away with blue murder, etc.



EDIT:
England Riots: The personal cost, The Guardian

366: No excuse for this shit; pathetic.

How can we let this lie? Fortunately I'm not at the BBC I'm an angry blogger, so with impunity I can say this to the rioters and looters in London: FUCK YOU YOU PATHETIC SCUMBAG PIECES OF SHIT. I don't know whether to address the concerns that have supposedly caused this (but are obviously just excuses), such as issues with the police and government; or to address the fact that you are theiving, villanous wankers, smashing and grabbing out of greed and stupidity. If any of you really do have any political concerns, I don't give a flying shit. If you have problems with our free, healthy and wealthy society, then you no longer have anything to worry about: We have a system whereby people like you are removed from society. It's called prison. I don't give a shit what you have to say, I just want to see you doing time. The police are not referees; they need to step in an put a stop to this shit. Enough is enough. Someone on twitter put it beautifully: "The Youth of the Middle East rise up for basic freedoms.The Youth of London rise up for a HD ready 42" Plasma TV."

It's not even funny; I cannot have a sense of humour about this. Innocent people are having their lives and livelihoods ruined; a beautiful city, the seat of a great democracy, is burned for no reason; balaclava'ed children are stealing shit. Anyone who tries to blame this on the government or the police needs to get fucking real: we live in relative luxury and riches (even for the poorest) compared to most of the world. Whatever they claim to be rioting for they can still vote, still get free health care, still express themselves freely, still eat healthy food and still drink clean water. There are problems in our country, but nothing serious (don't belive me? Look at China, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Somalia – get some fucking perspective) – and nothing that warrents anything like this. Any problems we do have cannot even be brought to the table until these rioters are stopped, and these fires are put out. There is not enough police or fire engines to deal with this; we need to send in the army.

If you are a law abiding decent person, then go home. Leave the streets empty. Stop egging on these cunts, stop taking pictures and stop shouting shit at the police. Go home and let the police get on with their jobs. Standing nearby with your camera phone, yelping 'oh my god' and trying to film a police man hitting someone so you can post it out-of-context online, is not helping – it is making things worse. Rioters of Birmingham and any other city that fancies its chances for some free electronics and trainers; sit down and shut the fuck up – don't jump on this shitty little bandwagon. Scumbags and criminals in any other city; don't get any fucking ideas.

Rioters – you have not taken control; you have not won anything; you have not changed the world, or achieved anything. You deserve to be arrested, tried by a jury of your peers, and sent to prison where you will be refused the right to move about freely, vote, and other privileges you ungratefully take for granted. Some people fight for real, serious, good causes; sometimes they fight by self-sacrifice (like Emily Davison), peaceful protest (Gandhi), or democratic reform (Clement Attlee's Labour Party creating the NHS). Other people just haven't got a fucking clue. I'm too pissed off to properly think about this disgrace.


EDIT:
England Riots: The personal cost, The Guardian

273: Bite It, You Scum

Were you in the garden of The Met bar in Didsbury today (22^nd April 2011) at 5 or 5.30pm?  Are you a clumsy lumpen dredge of human waste?  Did you lunge into the path of a poor soul carrying a tray of drinks (1 bottle of wild berry cider, one pint of cloudy cider, one pint of Sam Smiths, one lemonade, and one overpriced bag of potato scabs), sending all into the air in a downpour of ice and liquid?  Did you arrogantly look the, rightly pissed off, person up and down and then turn back to your friends?  Did you apologise?

No you didn’t, did you.  You clumsy shite, you spilt all my drinks and didn’t even have the manners to apologise.  I poked you in the shoulder and said you’ve just knocked fifteen quids worth of drinks on the floor.  Your reply, what do you want me to do about it?  What do you think?  Have you ever been in a society before?  An apology would be nice for starters; a sincere one.  If I thought you gave a shit then you might have been able to claw back from arsehole to clumsy thicko.  My fiancée said, if that had happened in Ireland you’d have got a sincere apology and twice the drinks bought for you.  She’s right as well, and I’d likely have made a new friend.

You could start by buying me some drinks, you prick.  “I haven’t got any money.”  Really.  Really???  You should be ashamed of yourself.  Yes it was an accident, but it was clearly your fault, and any decent well-mannered civilised person would be embarrassed and contrite.  Apologies at least, and preferably getting a round in are without doubt, the done thing in this situation.  You are less than half a human being.  Your testicles are peanuts, and your cock is a cross-eyed parasitic worm.  Your spine is an old whore’s-bath dish rag, and your breath stinks like one.

I wish the blood vessels in my vengeful eyeballs to lurch out and choke your unapologetic throat.  I wish upon you the demon hell spunk of GG Allin to fill you with its poisonous piss disease.  May the tips of your fingers burn; you try and try to reach your severed manhood as it sinks below the surface of the deep fat fryer.  May the debt for your sins pass on to every generation that you begat, and may your firstborn spurn you from the age it can speak.

You need special medicine to live.

Phew... Sorry everyone.  I'm glad that angry rant is out of my system.  These sorts of things can cause terrible problems with high blood pressure, twitching eyes, and nervous disorders.  I've even gone back and toned down the language.