Struggled to start writing today. Considered writing about Japan, but I think I have a bit of a reputation among my friends (hello) for going on about Japan a bit too much. It’s inevitable that I will waffle about Japan eventually but it’s too soon into the project to start now. In the meantime, for prosperity, here are the first faltered words I wrote today:
Having mega trouble thinking of anything to write. Really need to make some money, and the flat is a fucking tip. There is a bottle of white paint on my desk that looks exactly like a squeezy tube of mayonnaise every time I catch it in the corner of my eye. I’m going to finish my coffee, do the washing up, apply for more shitty jobs, do some more work on the Tactical Thinking painting, and do some character development sketches for my dad’s short story. Also got to make my girlfriend her tea; she’s got under an hour between getting in from work and going out to do her first Body Shop party.
This has become dangerously close to a diary, which is the last thing I want it to be. If it becomes a diary it will be boring as fuck, and I will probably give up after a couple of days. The last few days I’ve woken up knowing what I was going to write about, or thought of it just before going to sleep. Today nothing. And the internet is such a distraction; might have to turn it off in order to get some (unpaid) work done.
Not good enough; I agree. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Have that, for a cliché.
Every time I try to fill out a job application form, my brain freezes up. There is something about having to shove the same repetitive tedious details in tiny boxes that just breaks my brain. Also each application form is just different enough to make copying and pasting difficult. One form will want to know the reason for leaving every job you have ever had; another will deem in necessary to know every single tiny employment gap since leaving school; yet another will be desperate to find out what fucking month you left school. Some jobs require certificates for every single trivial computer skill: a fucking word processing certificate. WTF, grrrr. For fucks sake, what happened to just hiring people. Why so many fucking hoops; why all the bureaucracy. A quote from somewhere:
“The bureaucracy is expanding
to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.”
Too true. What do I need more, a drink or a job?