318: Recovered, Restored and Pancakes

Recovered document? Recovered document? RECOVERED DOCUMENT??????? WELL< WHERE IS IT THEN< COS THIS SURE ISN'T IT!!!!!!!!!!!>???????????

Michael Jackson Colourful Sadness, by Dan Lacey

I've spent the last 12 hours rebuilding my computer from scratch with a reformat and a whole load of reinstalling. I was in good humour about it until a few minutes ago. I had written up this entire blog post on OpenOffice (which I am using for the first time), then the fucking computer crashed, and upon reboot OpenOffice graciously offered to recover my lost document. Although it claimed to have done so successfully what it actually presented to my was a blank page. I could have got that myself without you 'recovering' it. If I lost five-hundred pounds cash, and you turned up with some blank pieces of paper, you wouldn't get the reward.

So I had composed a few paragraphs of prose about the tearing down and rebuilding of society and technology. It was witty and amusing and made me feel that all of today wasn't lost to the hideous time trumpet of computing. Then it was whisked from under me without ceremony or nothin'. Now I is sad and tired. Stoopid everything. I could kill a fox and eat its feet, or hobble a T-Rex and burn its nose; that is how annoyed I am, don't try and stop me. I could blast back in time and prevent my parents from getting a cat, or my grandparents from stepping out to the tea dance.

Fortunately this story ends well. I just typed in 'restored' to google images hoping to find something to illustrate that bit at the start of this post (never mind that it should have been 'recovered') and found this:

It's a painting called Obama: The Roaring Sea, which has been restored by the artist Dan Lacey. Now, I've never heard of Dan Lacey, and neither have you (probably), but his website proclaimes him to be The Painter of Pancakes. Never has the question what's not to love been more apt. He paints eerily serious portraits of people, in what looks like oil, in fairly standard poses; but what's this? They all have pancakes on their heads (except Obama; no pancakes here, just a six-pack).

Click here for the best art collection you will ever see: 11 Paintings of Cats with Pancakes on their Heads (and one guest). Let's have a look at some of my favourites, but you really should toddle over to the link to see the guest; it's well worth the click and the scroll.

Then look at his website for more pancakes on heads including that of the grotesque smirking Sarah Palin. I am so glad I discovered Dan Lacey's paintings; it almost makes the stressful boring repetitive day I have just had, worth all the scratching and screen-staring. Word count? OK, finished.

Block Chop 46:

Another rubbish post.

The last couple of days have been a dreadful mixture of random early bouts of sleep, sweating, stressing and job searching.  It’s beyond a joke now.  I’ve applied at HMV, Manchester University, a million faceless pieces of shit telesales cocksuckers.  None of them get back to me.  Even the fucking agency dealing with the great toyshop job fucked up and didn’t get back to me.  I hit a new low when I applied for a 40 hour a week job working in a chill/freeze warehouse, freezing my tits off and starting at 6am every day.  Years ago when I was last looking for work the job centre was happily advertising the position of Beef Boner.  Oh how I laughed; I still have the print out.

Another exciting day to look forward to tomorrow.  Getting up too early, filling out more and more application forms with the constant though spinning around my head, “what’s the point, it’s just another job I won’t hear back from, another wasted hour and another form sent off into the bottomless pit.”

I have a serious and sensible suggestion for a change in the law to ease rising unemployment figures during times of recession.  The government should be allowed to call emergency laws into effect at times like these that make it illegal for anyone to apply for a fulltime job if they are already in fulltime employment.  That way all positions will be filled by unemployed people.  Similarly it will be illegal for companies to hire anyone who is currently working fulltime.  I can’t see a problem, except that some other people will.  But it’s time for you employed people to stop being so damn greedy, and allow others into work.

I need to pay the bills.  Even part time.  In fact part time would be ideal cos it would allow me the time to continue with Tee and You, writing, drawing, studying, etc.  The last extreme fulltime retail job I had (assistant/manager at a crappy stationery shop run by a so-called Dragon) was a mind-wrecking waste of time.  Every spare moment was spent hating my job, which didn’t allow for much relaxation or creativity.  Perhaps I will never be satisfied.  Pissed off at this and wound up by that, angry at work and lack of work.  Moaning moaning, more fucking moaning.

I promise to anyone left still reading this crap that I will return to the (briefly existing) days when this blog was mildly witty and maybe worth reading.  I will write when not bored of subsisting and when not so tired that all I want to do is sleep.  If I hadn’t promised myself to write this I wouldn’t be doing it; but a promise is a promise, and dis discipline may yet keep me sane.  Over.